Take Two

I felt bad that we didn't invite Prancer to Mozart's party with the rest of the family, but after the last two shin-digs we had with him, I just didn't feel up to being a referee for the event.  Instead, we did a 2nd party, with just Prancer and Goose (and of course, Mme. Child) invited.  I'd saved the last two cars on the original party's cakes in the freezer and grabbed a banana bread from the local grocery to  fashion the engine once again.  Prancer directed me and helped in the decorating and he declared it was the "BEST PARTY EVER!" 

Prancer is, how shall I say... Highly spirited.  He always has been, and some of it is simply biological for him.  He is a kid that does much, much better when he is provided with lots of structure.  We were able to do this to a large extent when he lived with us, but mix up the days events or start to get loosey goosey with him and all hell broke loose.  Well, I don't know what goes on when he is at home, but I'm guessing the structure is just not there.  He has been tried on a myriad of ADHD meds with little to no effect and the situation has only gotten worse - to the point of now having a diagnosis of ODD.  Mmmm, fun stuff.  When he comes over he is like a whirlwind of destruction.  Inevitably I have to redirect him away from destroying something or hurting someone.  Today I got a "hug" that was meant to harm and Goose got smacked in the eye.  The former was clearly intentional, the latter I don't think was.  I did manage to keep Mozart from bodily harm and none of his toys got broken this time, so it wasn't too bad, but at the end of two hours I had had it.

And that makes me feel rather like crap.  I want to be there for this kid.  I want to be a piece of stability in his world.  I want to show him unconditional love and be an example for him.  But I also want to protect Mozart.  Mozart adores Prancer.  He is absolutely thrilled when he comes over, but Prancer doesn't know his own strength, and whether intentional or not, he can easily hurt him.  Sometimes - most of the time - it is just that Prancer is not aware of his strength or the boundaries of space that are needed to keep people safe, but sometimes Prancer's actions are purposeful.   

I remember when Prancer was just a touch older than Mozart.  We'd had Prancer for awhile, and had gotten another foster placement as well.  The other boy (Taz) was four, but violent beyond his years.  He was placed with us after stabbing his sister with a knitting needle (she was ok, but they needed to be separated).  We kept a close eye on both boys when they played together, but work needs to get done.  They were in the playroom one day, which is adjacent to the kitchen, and I was doing dishes - checking on them every few minutes.  All was going well enough, and then when I checked on them again I saw that Taz was holding Prancer in the air by the neck.  Yeah, so after that we didn't let them play alone at all.  Makes life challenging to say the least. 

What I'm getting at, is that I am feeling the same protectiveness over Mozart when Prancer visits that I did over Prancer when Taz was with us.  We haven't had a fully relaxing visit in some time, we need to be constantly vigilant, and then after Prancer goes home, Mozart's spends the next several hours mimicking Prancer's crash-into-everything-because-I-can behaviors. 

And, oh, how sugar does not help!  We will still have Prancer's birthday party come August, but aside from birthdays, we are going to be a sugar-free zone for every visit.  That will help a little....  Any suggestions on managing this are welcome. 

Amazing.

 

We had Mozart's 2nd birthday party this morning.  It all kind of snuck up on us.  I mean, I knew his birthday was coming, but I think I was in denial.  And full force denial apparently, because while I had put some small ponderings into what I'd do for a cake, I wasn't really inspired.  He likes carrots, so I figured carrot cake.  He likes trains and tractors, and the train option seemed easier, so I figured I'd do that.

I bought the ingredients yesterday morning, but kept putting it off.  Finally at 7:45 pm, I could do so no longer.  The mixing went well, as did the baking.  So I thought.  I put the cakes in the freezer  for 45 minutes like I did with his cake last year because I was so impressed with how that came out and started the frosting.  Got into watching Rachel Maddow, and while the cakes were out of the freezer, I still hadn't arranged them or started with the decorating.  I was only going to set it up and do the crumb coat, so while it was nearing 11pm, I figured as I began to arrange the loaves in the shape of the train cars, that I'd still get to bed by 11:30. 

And then I cut one of the loaves in half.  And the middle ran out.  It was not just gooey on the inside, it was the same batter that I mixed in the bowl.  I followed the recipe exactly, but I forgot the very crucial step of sticking the cakes with a toothpick to ensure doneness.  Fool. 

(You'll notice that I am not including this recipe for your enjoyment - it is clearly way off.)

In a panic, I posted on Facebook for advice and then immediately did as much online cake rescuing research as I could.  My advice, from who else but Cake Master, and from Dr. Google coincided.  I cranked up the heat 25 degrees higher than the recipe called for and put it in for 15 minute and then checked it, and put it back in for two more rounds of 10 minutes.  That's 35 minutes extra baking.  The original recipe called for 30 minute!  *le sigh* 

So it was midnight before I set the cakes to cool  for the night.  No crumb coat - they were still steaming.  So instead of having the regular birthday spiel with a decorated cake to present, we had a let's-decorate-this-train-cake party. I do not have photos of the decoration process, but it was a great collaboration.  While Cake Master and I frosted the cars, the Wife ran out to get some last minute things. *

The boys helped pick the colors, sample the decorations, and add cargo to the cars.  It was a big hit.  Mozart was beside himself with excitement over the whole thing.  I mean he was excited when the nekkid undecorated cake came out, but when the colors, WHEELS, and cargo got added, WHOA!!

So all in all, even though we were rather ill prepared - especially if comparing to last year - and even though we completely forgot candles (Grammie ran out to get those), it all turned out amazingly well.  We all enjoyed ourselves and most importantly, Mozart had a blast.   And, I've got a head start on next week's party when we invite Prancer and Goose over!  

* Post note.  You will notice a decidedly "Thomas the Tank Engine" theme here.  Neither the Wife nor I like to support licensed characters in general, but Mozart simply adores Thomas - which he pronounces Tomas - and this morning when I was pondering what he should wear, he had an opinion.  No, he had an obsession, to wear his Thomas pajamas.  I could not talk him out of it.  Nor could I even talk him out of putting a shirt on under or a sweatshirt over the t-shirt of the jammies.  So as Thomas paper-ware was readily available, and she knew it would make him happy (Understatement. Clearly.), she caved.