I've mentioned that we are in the process of refinancing our house. I may have mentioned that this has been a looooong process. To be exact, Bank of America (henceforth: BoA) said they could refinance - just our 1st loan on April 9th. They said it would take 6-8 weeks. You'll note that was six MONTHS ago. That is the short story. The epic version is follows:
We bought our house just before the housing market plummeted. We had the opportunity to go through the VA Home Loans program, but the interest rates were only a marginally better with them, and we wanted to buy the house together, having it in both of our names, not just mine. We talked to several banks and they all said it would be no problem to refinance after a couple years - just roll both the 80 and 20 (I think we got the last 80/20 home loan issued in the US) together for a better rate and we'll be golden, they said. So nearly two years in we began thinking about refinancing. We went to all the local banks, but by that time it seemed they were all gun-shy to refinance at all, and especially on a house that had lost value. So we waited and started approaching banks again two and a half years ago. Again, we went to one local bank and credit union after another without progress. Two years later, feeling like we needed professional help, we got a mortgage broker who worked with us for four months. We paid for an FHA assessment ($400) through the broker, and found out that we were no longer under water, but he still said we didn't qualify for any kind of refinance because our house was too close to being under water. Not actually under water, just close. And well, even with all the new programs that are supposed to help people in our situation refinance, there was just nothing that could help
us refinance - we either made too much money, not enough money, our house was too close to being under water, but not actually underwater, and oh, we hadn't actually missed any payments.
So while still working with the broker, one fine mortgage-paying day, the teller - again - was aghast at how much interest we are paying (6.875 on the 20 and 9.125 on the 20). Yes, I tell her, I am aghast every time I think about it and we have been trying for over two years to refinance, but everyone has said it can't be done - including BoA. She shakes her head and set me up with an appointment with one of their people. I felt slightly like a traitor seeing as we had a broker, but at the same time, we weren't getting anywhere.
I go to the meeting without much hope as they'd already said there was nothing they could do months and months ago, but hey, maybe something had changed. While I've met the banker I sat down with many times, she doesn't handle mortgages and was just there to facilitate a call to Lenny (not his real name, but don't you think that's a good name for a salesman). After about 45 minutes on the phone, Lenny says we can refinance, but only the first loan as the 2nd doesn't qualify - or we don't qualify - I'm still not sure as Lenny seemed to be talking outta both sides of his mouth. Regardless, he could refi our first loan, saving us 2 percentage points, which would save us almost 200 off our mortgage. Awesome! But upfront, we'll have to put another $400 down for another assessment because, apparently anything but a BoA assessment is of no use. So we cough it up, again, and think ahead to June when we will finally have enough extra in our budget to get our sad and leaky roof done.
Alas, June comes and goes. We are anxious to get it done, but after so long waiting, what's another month. My car needs new brakes, and it is now clear it will not pass inspection come October for a host of other reasons, but knowing the refi will be going through soon we put off getting it fixed or even thinking about a new car. July comes and goes. We are becoming somewhat worried, but are assured that all is well, they just need to get subordination from the home improvement loan that we took out to fix the windows. We somehow roll together the entire years home owner's insurance to pay in advance, as required. August, yes, comes and goes. We are becoming less than patient now. It is unclear who is dragging their feet as it seems that BoA, our lawyer and the bank needing to subordinate the other loan are all taking their sweet time. We cough up another $130 for the subordination fee. By September we are talking with Lenny at least a couple times a week and each time he says we should be hearing about a closing date any day now. But we hear nothing. And our leaky roof begins leaking in earnest. We begin to worry each time it rains. Then the water heater let go of all it's water. Several times. Still works most of the time, but we're told that could stop working altogether at anytime. And that we will not have hot water or heat, as our boiler is tied into it, if it goes. By the end of September the Wife is angry, as am I, and I have a difficult time holding it together when talking to Lenny. And by now, Lenny is also having a difficult time saying this is all routine. He reports calling numerous people at BoA, and their supervisors, but we still hear nothing. Everything is on hold until the refi goes through as taking any kind of loan out will alter our credit/debt-to-income ratio, and put the refi in jeopardy: we cannot get our roof done, our car fixed, much less a new one, or a new water heater. On October 1st, this really hits home as winter is now upon us - after all by the end of October last year, odd as it was, we had three feet of snow and no power due to the inclement weather.
In frustration and anger, the Wife logged onto the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau to submit a complaint. In the process she learns that, because I am a veteran, I qualify for a VA Home Loan refinance. Wait, what? I didn't know they did refi's as well! The VA won't lend to two people unless both are veterans or if they are married. And even though we are married, because it is a federal program, they don't consider us married. BUT, it turned out all the financing was in my name only, so we did some thinking and decided it might be worth it to take her off the title if we could do this thing - it could be several hundred more per month that we'd be saving! But before I could look into the specifics on the VA refi, I get notice from BoA that they'd like to close on Oct. 12!! WHOA! Just when I need to figure out what this new info means, they want to close?? I have a whirlwind of a day talking to our lawyer, who confirms that it is possible to take the Wife of the title, multiple VA locations, trying to get a Certificate of Eligibility, fill out numerous forms online and get a call back from another mortgage broker who specializes in VA Home Loans. He takes all the info, declines taking the Wife's, and says he'll get back to me within a day or so. Meanwhile I'm putting BoA on hold - sort of - the processor who we were supposed to schedule the final closing time with went on vacation without providing another person to talk to - until the 15th! Then I get a call back from the VA broker. I do not qualify. I don't make enough money, apparently, to make the payment for the refi. Never mind that the payments have been made, on time, every single month for over five years. As twisted as it is, they can't help us because reducing our payments by nearly half would somehow make it less likely that we would be able to pay them - huh?!!? But, of course, if they could count the Wife's income, we would qualify. So, sorry, until DOMA is repealed, there's no help for you.
So now we are going through BoA. I am so, so happy to have a closing date. Finally. But I am also bitter. Bitter that the whole system seems to be working against people who are somehow managing to barely scrape by. Bitter that not one person at any of the banks, or the broker, thought to ask if I was a veteran throughout this entire process - probably because I am a woman. Bitter that my marriage doesn't count when it should. Bitter at how long this has taken. I am trying to shake it off and just be grateful that we are able to do any bit of refinancing. It will save us some money. And after Friday we will be free to do these things that are in such dire need of doing. Though that
austerity plan still looms... at least we'll be sure to have a roof over our heads!
Yep. That's me. Shat upon. Twice now. From the sky. At least this time it was, by stroke of luck, my hand and not my head. Or the groceries, which my hand hovered over as it happened. It appears the winged ones are eating their share of pumpkins and squash these days. 
The solution, my friends, to getting your large hubbard squash into chunks small enough to lay out on a pan for roasting? Gravity. Perhaps with a little force. I put Mozart in the Pack'n'Play for protection, raised the vegetable high above my head and smashed it to the ground. It broke into three pieces. Mozart hooted, "Again!" And so we did. Until we had the entire thing in pieces that could be laid out on the cookie sheets.
