I'd probably go back and push it again...

Because I certainly have gone back to watch this again. And again. And again. 

A new cycle begins.

And so Mercury is finally out of Retrograde.  I'm no astrology buff, but I gotta say, with the last couple months we've had, this is a HUGE relief.  I don't know what this new cycle is, but I'm already looking forward to it.

Mercury came out of Retrograde with a bang, though.  Mozart hadn't been feeling well for about a week and woke up on Sunday not quite himself.  I'm not one to overreact with kid-stuff anymore.  Poor Mozart - they say that after the first kid, parents tend not to freak out about the little stuff anymore.  And by the third kid, a parent may not think to take their kid with a  fractured arm to the hospital (this happened to the Wife - she reports having to "cry in my bed for hours before she eventually took me").  Well, having been foster parents, we don't overreact about kid stuff, and in that department we might have what you call the Duggar Syndrome (just now named after that family with insanely-crazy and ever-growing numbers of children), after having had 17 kids through the house. 

So, yeah, he was sick on Sunday.  I noticed it in the morning when he slept until 8:30am (what!?!, and YAHOO!!, and, um, wow, that NEVER happened before).  Then he was wheezy and raspy and breathing kinda quick.  He was running around like usual most of the time, but then would poop out and get clingy.  After nap, instead of running about and playing he crawled up on the couch and just lay there like a tired old man.  I should have been alarmed.  Instead, I took a picture.  By that night though, I started to get this nagging feeling that it might be more serious, and started to worry about him all on his own in his room by himself while we slept. 

I'd recently heard about RSV and how dangerous it could be (somehow I missed the hype about it when we were foster parents), and thought to look it up.  Well, yeah, the website said this:

Call the doctor immediately if he has one or more of the following symptoms:

• Labored or fast breathing (faster than 40 breaths per minute when not crying), flaring nostrils, the rib cage expanding more than usual with each breath, wheezing, grunting when breathing
• A cough that's getting worse after the first few days
• Difficulty feeding
• Bluish lips or fingernails

He was still eating and his color was good, but that first bullet up there had me alarmed (um, finally!) because I counted his breathing at 59 per minute and I think they had been faster earlier in the day, and he was definitely using a lot of muscles to breathe, and he was wheezing and sometimes grunting.  I called the pediatrician and the on-call didn't even let me get past saying how fast he was breathing, she just said, "Go, now, to the ER." 

So we did.  His respirations were 66 (much to high) and his oxygen levels were 92 (too low).   They gave him Albuterol and a chest x-ray* and five hours later, after some talk of him not being where they'd like to see him yet with his oxygen levels, we were discharged with diagnoses of "acute asthma attack" and "bronchiolitis, possibly caused by RSV", nebulizer for more Albuterol treatments and an antibiotic.  They said to give him the neb treatment when we got home and every four hours if he needed it, but that we shouldn't wake him because he'll wake up if he needs a treatment. 

Well, he woke up two hours later.  Definitely needing another treatment. The Duggar Syndrome was now completely gone and replaced by Frantic First Mommy Syndrome.  Thankfully, I had enough sense to call the ER, rather than just taking him back for another $100, and they said he could really have it every two hours, but if it was any less than that or if the treatment didn't work, then we did need to take him back in. 

Somehow we made it through the night, and I stayed home with him in a sleepless/stupefied state.  Took him into his regular pedi and they did the RSV test there and a script for Prednisone to help the Albuterol work** because it was still not working as well as he'd have liked.  The pedi is not giving him a diagnosis of Asthma - yet - because this is only his 2nd episode of weird respiratory stuff.  The test for RSV came back negative today.  This is a huge relief, in a way, but also begs the question of why he had such a problem.  The pedi says that it could be asthma - I have the exercise induced kind - and also, because I took so much Tylenol during my pregnancy with Mozart (seriously, three times a day, every day for the last two trimesters, didn't touch the pain) and they have recently come out with a study saying there is a link (apparently, there are other studies, but I didn't ever hear about this until after he was born!!), but he's still not ready to give the diagnosis.  

Anyhoo, we all survived, and we're ready for that new cycle now.  But a couple things of note:

* A baby chest x-ray is a horrible thing.  They have this plastic contraption that you have to stick the baby in, with his hands over head, squish him in, strap his head in, while he screams.  The respiratory therapist gave us a head's up, thank goodness, cause I'd have been freaked if I just went in there without warning.

** Albuterol is kiddy speed.  Add Prednisone and you have kiddy crack.  Mozart is generally a typical 20 month old.  Usually very mellow, with little bouts of tantrums.  This kid is currently a maniac.  He is crawling out of his skin.  He tried to flip the coffee table for gits and shiggles.

Leftover reminder

With the leftovers from Thanksgiving dinner this year I made a Savory Thanksgiving Pie.  I had some extra fresh cranberries and so I put those on the bottom of the pie dish, added a fair amount of turkey, layered with stuffing and sweet potatoes, and topped with mashed potatoes and gravy.  Baked for about 45 minutes at - I think that was 375 - and voila!  Delicious.  Next year, or perhaps at Christmas, I will load these things directly into the pie dish rather than packing them up in separate containers only to be taken out at assembled. 

The rise and fall of Turkey Day

As I sit here at home this Black Friday, as I do every Black Friday, I am thinking - once again - about the loss of meaning of Thanksgiving.  And frankly, the complete overtake of commercialism.  I understand that the day after Thanksgiving is a good time to start the Christmas/holiday shopping.  That part, I get.  What I don't get is the want to go out into throngs of crazed people at unmentionable hours to get that start.   That's just not me.   To me, that sounds miserable.  Especially after spending the last week to 24 hours preparing for the festivities and family that accompany Thanksgiving.

I didn't grow up in an overly ceremonial family, but we had respect for the meanings of the holiday.  And even if we didn't celebrate some holidays in the same way as other (I'm thinking Christmas here), we still considered it a sacred time to spend with family and friends.  Thanksgiving used to mean something to the population in general, as well.  From the time we were little we were taught that the holiday's origin was one based in giving thanks.  Growing up and at school, we made Trees of Thanks and enacted the first Thanksgiving meal so that we could appreciate all that we have to be thankful for.  But somewhere along the line much of that got lost.  It's true, I have quite a few friends on Facebook who've set out to post at least one thing they are thankful for every day this month.  But aside from that, what have I heard most about Thanksgiving this year?   
                                                                          
That's right.  Shopping.

Not that we all don't hear a ridiculous amount about it every Thanksgiving - or any day of the year, for that matter.  But this year it seems just completely over the top.  It was bad enough a couple years ago when the stores started opening at midnight after Thanksgiving.  When that happened I just shook my head.  Felt sorry for the workers who would clearly have to cut the festivities short the night before or go unslept.  And sorry for the people who felt so driven by the impulse to buy that they are compelled to line up for hours on end to fight crowds of equally bleary-eyed and crazed people for those three Tickle-Me-Elmo's that were on sale.

But now.  NOW!  The stores have crossed a line in my opinion.  I understand that some people have to work on Thanksgiving.  I have been that person.  People in healthcare, public safety, and transportation have to work.  But can't we just leave one day sacred for being thankful for WHAT WE HAVE instead of being so BLOODY FOCUSED on WHAT WE WANT!!

On that note, I am thankful for my family.   For as much as our relationship isn't perfect, I am truly blessed to have the Wife.  And Mozart.  Ahhh, what can I say, that child is the light of my life.  Every day.  I am thankful for my parents, who live afar, but are still so much a part of our lives.  My sister, Globetrotter, who is back in-country and who I don't see nearly enough of, but who will be coming out for Christmas.  I am thankful that I have in-laws who aren't any more coo-coo than my own family, and who live close enough to share these holidays with.  I am thankful to be employed!  Oh yes!  I don't have the perfect job, and sometimes I really wish I had another what with workplace politics, but I HAVE A JOB!  And I do have a fairly fantastic boss and some really great co-workers.  I am thankful that we live in the area that we live in - this little town has nearly everything I could want.  And what I can't find hear is just a half an hour away in the next little town that I love.  I am thankful that we were finally able to refinance our house and that we were able to get a new car and a new roof! I am thankful that my feet are beginning to feel better and I'll soon be able to be more active.  I am thankful for technology - the internet, cell phones, my Kindle, GPS...

The list could go on forever, but I'll stop there.  Rather than going around the table, my mom-in-law said a prayer of thanks this year, but I still feel it's important to voice some of what I'm thankful for.  We hosted this year.  Mom-in-law brought the pies.  Dad-in-law funded the turkey.  Mme. Child brought individual harvest pot pies.  The Wife cleaned the house top to bottom.  Mozart brought the cuteness.  I did the turkey, stuffing, cranberry relish, sweet potatoes and mashed potatoes.  And it was good.  In Mme. Child's words, "the best turkey I've ever had," which I take as the highest complement.

All in all, I am thankful.

Un-birthday cake, er banana...

Mommy put a birthday hat on Mozart.  Not because it was his birthday, but because it was leftover and hanging around from Prancer's birthday.  He marches into the kitchen and I note, "Hey, you've got a birthday hat on!"  He concurs, "Buh dee hit."  Then he turn and walks into the dining room and ask, "Weh de buh dee kick?"

The wife and I look at each other, shaking our heads, he's just too smart.  Of course, if he's wearing a birthday hat, there should be birthday cake!

Poor kid did not get a birthday cake, but was placated with a banana. 

--------------

And in other news.  Went to pick up Mme. Child's meat CSA and may get some bacon tips for the effort.  The meat lady suggests making an alfredo sauce.  Cook up bacon.  Drain all but three tablespoons grease. Add three tablespoons flour, two cups milk, salt and pepper.  Et voila.  I may need to try that!     

-------------

And still other news.  I think the stars are crossed for getting anything done with speed around here.  For one reason or another I have had a ridiculous amount of plans, repairs, and happenings DELAYED in BIG ways lately.  Nothing too serious, but a lot  of hassle.  Car purchase = delayed by Sandy, then by parts arrival.  Car registration = I was supposed to get it in the mail 3 days after purchase so I could have it inspected (by law) within the week, but car dealer computer problems, and then unexplained delays means I have not yet received it - more than two weeks later - it'll be in the mail tomorrow they say.  Other car repair = take it in to diagnose clutch issue, take it back to do repair, part delivery delayed, in the mechanics words "the parts place is blowing sunshine up my ass!" and so we'll, hopefully, be back to two cars by end of day tomorrow.  Oil bill = they say we owe them money, but we paid early (as evidenced by charge posted to account) and so got the discount meaning that we owe them nothing, now settled.  Doctor bill = should not have even received this bill as I already paid it (and kept receipts) so after calling and calling back thrice, it is finally settled. Chimney = after two days of the masons no-showing, and then disappearing (leaving no chimney at all on our house) mid-job, finally done!   Roof = still not done, will save that story, should I decide to tell it for later. Oie! I will now begin to plan for things to take at least three times as long as they should until the stars realign...

Cheese bribery.

While I still foresee the coconut curries being the next trend, tonight I made Turkey Tamale Pie.  I thought it was good.  The Wife thought it was good.  The Boy went into full Boy-cott mode.

Several weeks ago we decided the incessant whining for, "SNAAAAAAACKSSSSSS!!!" on arrival home each and every night had to stop.  We talked with the daycare provider and learned that he did have a snack in the afternoon, but it was usually about 2pm.  Now he gets a second snack at about 4pm to tide him over until dinner.  This, overall, has been much better in the way of whining, but it has increase his obsession for snacks.

He has still been eating dinner fairly well, but last night - and now tonight, he flat out refused to eat anything substantial.  Last night he had his portion of naan and decided that he'd rather not try my coconut curry, but wanted more snacks.  We attempted to tell him all about the lovely things he likes in the curry, and how he's tried it before and loved it, but to no avail.  All he wanted was snacks. He went to bed, I'm sure, hungry.  And woke up quite early and quite hungry.

So with tonight's stated boycott, I thought about my own need for sleep, and decided I'd resort to cheese bribery.  This was after about half an hour of convincing the child to come to the table at all for his dinner at all (he was in his high chair, but we do not pull it up to the table until the bib is on, and prior to dinner boycott, it was bib boycott - *sigh*).  I pulled out some cheese.  Made ooohs and aaaaahs over it as I cut it up into small squares.  It used to be that I could convince him to eat about anything with the prospect of a bit of cheese, a blueberry, or bite of yogurt, it was a simple, "you want this, ok, then eat this," and before you know it, he'd finished the entire plate...  No more.  I told him he could have a square of cheese if he ate a bean.  This took much convincing.  I even tried putting the bean on top of the cheese.  He looked at me as if I'd defiled the cheese.  Actually cried.  But finally, he picks up the bean.  And eats half of it.  And so I give him just a crumble of cheese.  Then he eats the rest and I give him the rest of the square of cheese.  We did this - both the Wife and I - for nearly an hour, bean by bean and crumb by crumb.  I think he may have ingested a grand total of maybe a quarter cup of tamale pie and half of one baby carrot (and a slice and a half of cheese).

My mother tells tales of how stubborn I was.  I think Mozart may be following in by footsteps.
We may be in for it.

Coconut Curries...

I tend to go in phases with cooking.  Phases of enjoying it, boycotting it, and of course, phases of cooking particular kinds of food.  Over the past weeks, I cannot count how many roasted chickens we've had.

Let me note here that the Wife does not eat beef, pork (errr, except bacon, occasionally), or lamb.  She is picky about fish.  And she does not like new foods.  This leaves us eating a lot of chicken.  A fair amount of turkey.  Plenty of egg dishes.  And more pasta than I'd like to admit.

The phase of roasted chicken began with a sale at Whole Foods - .99/lb for whole birds = awesome.  And I bought many.  We also had our farm share.  Or should I say chicken share.  One or two chickens per month - all natural, pasture raised, heritage birds.  Mmmm, wiry little buggers. Very flavorful, but not much to them.

And now I am about done with that.  I'd rather not roast a chicken for while.  In fact, if Thanksgiving weren't coming up, I'd say I'd rather not roast any bird for awhile.

Tonight made a delicious coconut curry.  Carrots, sweet potato, regular potato, turnips (could've done without), peas, and chicken.  Would have been good with onions, but we're fresh out.  And so, so easy when you have a good curry paste = fry up the chicken (I'm partial to the skinless thighs myself), add variety of chopped veggies, can of coconut milk (unsweetened of course), a great dollop of curry paste, simmer until veggies are soft, and serve with yogurt, and/or rice, and/or na'an.

Just yum.

I may be onto another phase.

I can breathe!

Both figuratively and literally  :)

I generally tend to get sick under three scenarios.  1) I am simply overtired and haven't been taking care of myself, 2) I have been dealt an emotional blow, or 3) when something stressful, even happy-stressful, is taking a lot of energy over a long period of time and suddenly it is over.

The first only makes sense.  If I don't get enough sleep, don't eat well, and generally don't take care of myself, what do I really expect...  The second, well, all I can say is that with every break-up that I've had and every child that left to an not-so-great situation, I got sick.  When things are out of control and it's breaking my heart, my immune system takes a blow.  It's true, often, I am up worrying or the like, and not sleeping as I should in these situations, sometimes not eating as I should, so I suppose that makes sense too - though it has happened even when I've kept my routine.  And the third, well, that's less explainable.  I feel like there is so much tension being build up and I am running on adrenaline until the big event happens - that when the even finally happens, my body lets down its defenses and lets in the germies.

And that is what happened on Wednesday.  I am elated by the election results.  I mean, I really did feel like I'd been holding my breath for the last several months, and finally, some time after the networks called it, I finally felt like I could breathe again.  When they first called it, I was unconvinced - in fact, I wished I'd been able to just go to sleep without watching any of the results come it - flashbacks to 2000 anyone...  but by 12:30 in the morning, I began to believe.  Began to relax.  And began to rejoice.  In my dreams, for I really was utterly exhausted.

While I was sleeping, the Wife remained awake and monitoring the remaining results roll in, and as she posted in the wee hours of Wednesday:

Reelected the 1st President ever who publicly supports marriage equality.
Passed marriage equality in ME in the first time by ballot initiative.
Approved marriage equality law in MD.
Approved marriage equality law in WA.
Defeated an anti-gay constitutional amendment for the 1st time in MN.
Elected the 1st openly LGBT US Senator.
Now, that's how to do an election! :D

And while I was overjoyed on waking, I couldn't really express it as I felt rather like I'd been hit by a semi. I dragged myself up and went to work nonetheless, though I admit I got little accomplished.  By the afternoon the mild headache had worsened, the stuffiness had turned into a full clogging, and I was regularly sneezing.  By evening I was a full-on faucet-face. This is not a pretty thing, people, I'll spare the details, but let's just say that nothing within my vicinity was free of germs.  I was in bed by 8:30, dosed up with Sudafed and a myriad of various herbs, tinctures and teas.  I woke feeling somewhat better, but by the time I got Mozart down to breakfast I was fairly miserable again.  I realized this when I looked up from my coffee and saw him mimicking me, head resting on hand, and groaning.  While that was way too cute, it made me understand just how bad it was.  And really, it would have been completely irresponsible to go to work and expose coworkers and clients alike to all of the germs going on.

So now here I am, wrapped up in a blanket, feeling much better than yesterday, but still trying to take it easy.  I'm looking around at the various messes that never seem to stop piling up and thinking I should do the dishes, sort through this pile or that, or clean out the fridge, and maybe I will, but for now I will finish this off and drink my tea with the knowledge that the tides are finally turning and there is hope that in the future we will be considered a bona fide family with the same rights and benefits that other families already have.

GO VOTE ~ Couple hours left people!

By the time I got to the computer last night, my thoughts were jumbled, my eyes were bleary, and my body was sending out signals of fatigue and alarm.  <-- not very conducive for getting my thoughts out. 

I hope I can put things together more coherently now.


I was up at 5am.  Before Mozart.  Maybe because of the time change, but more likely because of the importance this day holds.  I tried, unsuccessfully to get another hour of shut-eye, and finally got up and prepared for my day.  As I left, the Wife asks, "Why do you look so snazzy?"  I responded that, because today is such an important day I wanted to dress for the occasion.  That I'm feeling fragile today, like my world could fall apart if the outcome is not the one I would choose.  And on days like these, I need to give myself a little boost.

I got out of the house early.  Just after the polls opened.  As I arrived, the lot was full.  This always fills me with a touch of pride.  I notice several children walking in with their parents.  This also makes me appreciate our right to vote.  I have taken Mozart to the polls several times, though I didn't do so this morning.  He's at the age when he could be very distracting.  If the Wife votes after work, though, I will volunteer to go to the polls with her so Mozart can go and watch - and she can concentrate on the task at hand. Walking into the polls, there was a mom and her young son who were just behind me.  He was about four.  And he was having an absolute fit about having to go with her to vote.  Thinking I might help, I piped up and said, "Hey, this is important!  You are really lucky to be able to come watch your mom vote today."  She thanked me, but he was unimpressed and continued his whining, "I don't want to vote.  You always get your way.  It's not fair."  His mom did her best to, at first explain how important it was, and then finally just tell him that he needed to be quiet and chill out.

And as I think about that child's cry, I think that unfortunately, there are grown and capable citizens that are making the same argument, "I don't want to vote.  You always get your way.  It's not fair."

Well, guess what.  Voting is a right.  Just because you don't want to take the time to vote, or you don't think your vote counts, or you don't like your options, doesn't mean you get a free pass.  It's a right to vote and it's right to vote.  No, you don't always get your way, but if you don't vote, you can't say, "you always get your way," and have that truly mean anything.  If you haven't used the power behind your vote, then you can't really complain when you don't get your way.  And no, it's not always fair.  Citizens United and all the money that has been pumped into this election by corporations - it isn't fair.  Some say the Electoral College isn't fair, but it is the system we have.  And if you are a citizen of the United States, but have been convicted of a felony, in most states, you are not allowed to vote.  Same goes for those who received a Dishonorable Discharge from the military. It might not be fair. But that's the law and laws are made by the people who we, the citizens, vote into office.  Every single one of us given this right, should be invested in it.  From the beginning <-- and that means looking into who is running for public office on the town and county level, participating in primaries, AND voting in major elections. Know what the issues are, know where you stand on them, and where the candidates stand on them.  Vote for what you believe is right.  If your candidate didn't make it on the ballot, you have a choice.  You can write in your candidate's name, you can vote for the candidate that is listed that most closely resembles your beliefs, you can vote for what you feel is the lesser of two evils, or you can even leave it blank indicating no confidence.  But just vote.  I believe, that like some countries, there should be compulsory voting, but it's not mandatory here.  It's a right and it's our civic responsibility.

So I've said my piece. And I voted.  I voted with my heart and with my conscience.  I voted for Barack Obama because on nearly every issue that I can think of, he more closely holds, and often has acted on, my beliefs than the other viable candidate for this election.  Yes, he is still a politician.  He wouldn't be on the ballot if he wasn't.  And it's true that I don't agree with him on every issue (he will hear from me on these).  It's also true that I *may* agree more fully with Jill Stein of the Green Party, but when she (or any candidate) wasn't included in the debates and I've not seen or heard *any* airtime about her, when relatively few people know who she is or what she stands for, and when she is not even on the ballot in 14 states, I don't feel that she is a viable option.  So not only do I believe that Obama is the better candidate for our economy (yes, I do believe that - he did not put us in this situation, the previous administration with similar policies that the opposition has did), that he is the better candidate for equal rights (for women, people of color and LGBT individuals and families), that he is the better candidate when it comes to considering our health care, social security, and the welfare of all people, and that he can better represent the United States in the foreign arena without alienating other countries or instigating unnecessary war, but I also believe that he has a good shot at winning this thing.

Not to mention, I'm just a wee bit terrified about the prospect of the other guy - one who discounts 47% of the population, thinks of women and minorities as less than, and believes that my family is not real and that my marriage should be nullified - getting elected...

So now I wait, along with the rest of the nation, to find out how hard we are going to have to fight.  The fight, you see, will not stop. We've been fighting to regain the ground we lost in the Bush era, we've been fighting for equal rights, and we've been fighting for our politicians to work together - and our President has been fighting with us.  I hope we can keep that fight going, and not have to fight off a president that would take it all away.

Pre-Election Disjointed Jitters

When I picked up Mozart today, the daycare provider asked me if I was ok. Said I looked stressed.  Said I've looked stressed for awhile now.  And yes, between the roof (still pending), the care (yipee - all set), the water heater (ugh) and Sandy impending arrival and now continuing to hear about the aftermath, yeah I'm stressed.  But really, what has me most stressed is these elections.  And I don't even watch t.v., so I don't hear but a fraction of the BS that flying around out there on the airwaves.

I'd like to be eloquent about how I feel right now, but I'm afraid that likely won't be possible.  I am baffled that people are seeming to fall for what the Romney campaign is putting out there as a solution.  While he seems to talk out both sides of his mouth, makes stuff up, and dismiss nearly half of our population, people are still considering him a viable option.  And the people here in Massachusetts - shouldn't we all remember what it was like under him.  How he was anything but a bridge-builder.

And frankly,  I'm scared.  Scared that just when I thought that maybe, just maybe sometime in the near future our family will be considered a real and legitimate family, that it could all be taken away from us.   So yeah, I'm stressed.

And also, I have to say, that I'm feeling a bit betrayed by some people that I thought had our back.  You know, when a person professes to be a friend, but then wants to vote for someone who would take your rights away - and their rights away, too!  I'm not just talking about rich, white guys wanting to vote for Romney - shoot, I don't even know many of those - I'm talking about women.  Several of them.  And yes, even some LGBT folks.  It leaves me numb and speechless.

So if your reading this, tomorrow is election day. Please go to the polls and vote for a better future. For all of us, including women and the LGBT community. For we deserve to be equal citizens. And please know that your vote does count. It is worth the time and energy. For most of us it will be a matter of minutes, but it is also worth the hours some are waiting. If you don't have a ride, ask for one.

You are an American.  Act like it.