That's BATastic!

 Whew! We're in the clear!! The woman at DPH said on Friday that Boston usually calls early afternoon with the results so we should have the results by then but that she would definitely call me by 3:30p either way because if by that time we hadn't heard the results we were all going to have to have the shot.  This sounded great to me and, really, I wasn't worried because everyone I'd spoken to said the rates were either very low in this area or that they hadn't seen any cases this year.  That was until juuuuuust about 3 o'clock when I hadn't heard yet.  At that point I began to get a little worried.  By 3:15, I was a little bit more worried.  And by 3:28 I was poised with the number to call and check up on this woman who promised to call.  At 3:30 on the dot I dialed the number and: No one picked up.  Aaaaack!!  I attempt, unsuccessfully, to get some work done. I tried the Wife's number, ready to tell her we'd better give our insurance a heads up that we'd need the shots, and she wasn't there either.  I didn't want to leave that message as I didn't want to believe that we'd all have to line up and be subjected to a series of needles.  As I was about to dial her cell, at 3:48, mine rang.  It was the DPH lady.  She'd been out all day, had three messages, hadn't checked them yet, but just wanted to check in with me before I began to panic - um, a little late, but thanks.  She hung up to check her messages.  I waited anxiously.  At 3:52 she called back.  She greets me pleasantly.  I say, "Yes?" - all the while holding my breath.  She says the results are in.  I say, "And?(!)" And she FINALLY say, after pausing again, "the bat tested negative."  Woo Hoooo!  Huge sigh of relief!

Now maybe I can stop the obsessing - really, I've been dreaming of bats non-stop since the Bat Fiasco.  Along the way I've gathered some fun facts about bats.  Much of this I learned in the moments after the arrival of the bat, by way of the Wife spouting out, iPad in hand, facts that any good bat-hunter should know. And further fun facts were by way of continued obsession - many, many websites, and random people telling me bat tales.  In the order with which they pop into my head:

• Bats can get through exceedingly small spaces - 3/8ths of an inch to be exact.
• If trying to catch a bat wear leather glove as bat armor.  You need to ensure that you do not come in contact with the bat because rabies can be transmitted through bites or scratches.
• The methods of catching a bat are as follows: If on the ground, use a towel to drape over it and scoop it up - ensuring your are wearing your bat-armor-gloves.  If perched on a wall, trap it behind an oatmeal, yogurt, or tupperware container.  If in flight, use a butterfly net - not a fishing net as the bat will likely escape due to the larger holes.  The net, it the least suggested form of capture as it increased the likelihood of human-bat contact.
• Unless you saw the bat enter your house, you don't know how long it's been there and you should contact your doctor about the rabies shots.
• If you do let it go, put it on a tree or up high somewhere.  They have a hard time taking off from the ground and they'll hop around pathetically for a bit before being able to take flight.
• While bats are commonly referred to as rodents, they are not in fact related to rodents, and are more closely related to alpacas, hippopotamus, and dolphins!!   (what?? can this be real???)
• There are megabats and microbats.  But not all megabats are bigger than microbats.  
• Bats aren't blind, but they don't see well at all and they mostly "see" with their ears, so if there are noises about it will make the bat confused as to how to get out, so one should turn off the music, clocks, computers, or anything that makes any noise if you want it to find its way out.  
• While a large grouping of bats is now called a "Colony", in the middle ages it was called a "Murder", just as A Murder of Crows, as the black-wings hoards were mistaken for each other.
• The largest bat - called a Flying Fox - has a wingspan of, oh help, SIX FEET!! The smallest bat is called a Bumblebee Bat.
• Bat guano - a.k.a. bat poop - has been used for things such as bullets (really, in the Civil War!!), and could be used to detoxify waste, improve detergents and for antibiotics - but as far as I can tell, it isn't actually used in mascara.  And thank goodness, because that stuff stinks in indescribable ways - and I know this from standing outside a great bat cave in years back.
• Oh, and Vampire Bat saliva is an anticoagulant!

I'd like to go on and write about other things - Bat Hypnosis, the origins of phrases like "bat-shit crazy" and "like a bat out of hell",  and other bat-lore, but I must end my obsession for now.