Still here!

I am writing a quick post now.  The family has descended from various points afar.  Most, if not all (I still have to take a final inventory) of the shopping is done.  None of the wrapping is.  Mozart is charming Nana, Grandad and Globetrotter to pieces.  He's loving having them here.  The Wife is holding up well.  As am I!  Must go brine a turkey - or prep it is someway for roasting tonight when we return from Historic Deerfield and seeing Sanda - again!

Regaining normal - sort of.

My thoughts are still with those families.  Throughout the day I would see something on Facebook, hear something on the radio, or just look at Mozart and be reminded of all those innocent lives lost.  Tears would well, I would kiss my boy or say a silent blessing for his safety and prayer for those families and try desperately to get back to normal.

Since I've been sick, I really haven't done any cooking more complicated than opening a can of chicken soup.  Tonight I decided that was going to have to change. And when I'm feeling the need for comfort, I feel like pasta.  And bacon.  So I hauled Mozart off to the store and got the fixings for Chicken Gorganzola Carbonara with Bacon.  I have tried to turn the Boy onto bacon before.  Once, when we were in Oregon, I ordered him a lovely breakfast complete with bacon.  He wanted nothing to do with it.  Turned his nose up. Well, let me tell you how things have changed.  He still can't say the word - for some reason it comes out "mec" (I have no idea), but that's about all he wanted tonight. Since the Wife wouldn't have any, he got hers.  And some of mine.  Yes.  Life is good with bacon.

But then I clean up from dinner and open Facebook and it all comes rushing back.  I still haven't been able to put many words to my feelings, but the following are some of the things that struck me from my feed. 

It seems so overindulgent to post something like this right now when there are so many people hurting but I'm really concerned that in our need to have easy answers and understand "why" for everything, that mental health is becoming the cop out to a complicated situation. I think its wonderful that mental health is getting attention considering its a problem that is SO important and isn't often talked about. But there are other hard to face things we need to look at, our love of violence, and exposure to it in many cases since childhood, our lack of empathy, our easy access to guns, our self entitlement and anger. We not only have mass shootings that rightfully so get attention, on a daily basis our friends and loved ones are killed by gun violence, or all to often simply by accident. In my daily life i come across so much random anger, the idea of more people with more guns terrifies me. Yes its the people and not the "guns" and that's the scariest part. ~ I.M.

I'm frustrated at our utterly broken mental health system. None of these mass shooters have been "right in the head".....but how the f*** do these folks get access to guns, anyway? I might be opening a can of worms here, but I DO believe that making gun ownership a little harder to achieve would weed out some of the mentally ill from accessing firearms. Yes, I think that while some would complain about "rights", but I'm seeing these news reports about a CLEARLY mentally ill person who killed himself, his mother, 20 schoolchildren, and 6 other adults.

Some people say that they are glad that the shooter killed himself. Others say they wish the young man had received "discipline" in the jail system. I wish none of this had ever happened at all, and that the mental health system, plus restricting this man's ability to access firearms, had been successful in preventing this tragedy. Please do remember that although the shooter killed his mother, he has a grieving father and brother, too. 27, not 26, people died yesterday. I know people are sad and angry, and so am I. But this did not have to happen at all.   ~ M.C.

Worst potential outcome of existing gun laws: mentally ill people get their hands on combat weapons and kill innocent people.

Worst potential outcome of hoped-for gay laws: happy adults get families.

And yet who has their rights ardently protected by every lawmaker in the land?

I'm sorry, I can't hear your complaints about your super-fun assault weapons being potentially taken away through the LOUD VIOLINS PLAYING IN MY HEAD. ~ C.M.

I believe, and have to believe in order to continue living on this world, that we all have the capacity to spread peace and love. I also believe it's our responsibility as members of the earth to approach each day with open hearts and hope and ask " How can I be Love today?" and then act. I believe each small act has the potential to lead to a bigger, wholer goodness and I also believe when tragedy hits, activating this conscious love for others is one way to heal.  ~ E.T.

To Anyone saying that 20 children died because god isn't allowed in schools should be completely ashamed of themselves. How dare you say such an ignorant and callous statement. Shame On You. ~ S.B.F.

From the still, peaceful place in your heart, send loving thoughts, prayers to the good people of Newtown and all who are touched by this tragedy. Reach out in kindness to those who appear lost, distressed, alone. Support better care for those with mental illness. Lobby against violence in entertainment and to close loopholes in gun control laws. Continue to be compassionate. ~ C.S.

I am so very afraid that all the attention, the endless media coverage, the chatter is planting the seeds for next time. ~ M.B.T.

Seeing people in multiple continents and countries on my FB, and all are united, a world community, grieving for our neighboring state of CT and the atrocities that occurred there today. So close to home for us MA teachers. ~ T.M.T.

I don't want to turn on the tv. I don't want to turn on the laptop. I just want to go get my child and stay in the house for days. My mind won't stop thinking of all the pain and devastation so many are feeling right now. Worst week ever. ~ E.P.T.

Why did it take us so long to become horrified by violence? Children and young adults have been getting murdered left and right in this country for years. Having had a brother murdered (who was a young adult) I am no stranger to violence. The violence has always been here, we ignored it when it wasn't us- but as it has seeped into whoever us is, movie theaters, schools, colleges we started paying attention. We are not immune, but it was easy to say those things don't happen here. Well guess what they do. They have been. I heard on the news someone saying, "this was a good school, those things don't happen here" well they shouldn't happen anywhere to any child or person. And the reality is that many of our kids continue to die, they won't be remembered bc they did not die in a "mass shooting" but they did die in mass violence. ~ M.L.

There is absolutely no reason that a private citizen should be able to buy a weapon with the capacity to fire a hundred rounds in the span of a minute.

Such a weapon is not simply for protecting yourself, and it's not for shooting your dinner. I'm sympathetic to gun rights based on the number of legitimate, game-eating hunters I know, but sorry, the authors of the Bill of Rights did NOT envision semi-automatics and our laws should not protect their purchase. ~ C.M. 

 There were many more things that people said that were both thought-provoking and quote-worthy.  Some anger me, some make me fearful, some give me hope, some make me cry.  I'm trying to focus on those that give me hope.  But at the same time not forget the others, for that is where change will come from.

Kiss your babies and tell them you love them.

I went through most of the day blissfully unaware of the events that took place in Newtown, CT today.   Since I learned of it, though, I have been in and out of tears.  Disbelief. Anger.  More tears.  As happens when I'm upset, I'm at a loss for words.  I had to go about my afternoon and get things done, but I just wanted to get to my boy and hug him and tell him I love him and I'll do the very best that I can to keep him safe.

Whenever this happens, a mass shooting - something that is getting a little too familiar these days - I go to this place of disbelief.  But today was different.  Worse.  How?  Just how, could anybody shoot up an elementary school?  They are kids!  We are supposed to protect them!  And then I think about the parents of those babies and I cry again. 

Mouse!

Mozart's thing these days is Stuart Little - well, Elmo and Stuart Little.  It could be worse, really.  I think it's a cute video.  And it's a good thing 'cuz over the past week we must have watched it at least 15 times. I always strove to be one of those moms whose kids don't know what t.v. is.  And, really, I still do.  But that has gone by the wayside because, what can I say, if it affords a Mama a bit of worry-free rest, it's worth its weight in gold. 

So along with this new-found obsession of his, he has taken to saying, "Mas!  Mas! Mas!"  Somewhat constantly.  For some time, I wondered where he learned the Spanish word for more.  The context always seemed to fit.  But then I realized it was really "Mouse!" that he was saying.  He's eating and he says, mas.  He's playing with his toys and he says, mas.  He looks in my belly button, and you guessed it, he says, mas.  In the dryer, mas.  In his shoe basket, mas.  Down his pants, mas (he's a boy, what can I say).  In the toilet, mas.  Yeah, you get the picture. 

So this morning we are going through the usual routine.  Kind of, for I went to work for the first time in a week today, and was doing the routine myself as the Wife is now down with this terrible flu.  As I'm getting Mozart ready he has a toy truck and is talking about mouse this and mouse that and can we watch mouse, etc, etc.  I am in kind of a hurried daze as I'm trying to dress him and make myself look presentable. 

I manage to get him fully outfitted and put him down, making my way into this odd little room we call the dressing room (it contains several sets of drawers, a bureau, an open wardrobe and a vanity) to, well, get dressed.  Mozart tags along behind me and I am wishing he would stop asking to watch mouse and just play with his toys.  As I am putting the iron away, I note that he suddenly looks very interested in his toys that are strewn about as he toddles over to them saying, "Mas!" 

I let out a sigh of relief, and follow this by an immediate shriek.  Mozart has bent over and is holding in both of his chubby little hands A MOUSE!  And I don't mean a toy mouse here folks, no, this is no Stuart Little, this is a for-real-kind-of-vermin-mouse!  And instinct takes over and I swipe it out of his hands, and now I'M HOLDING THE MOUSE!!  With my bare hands!  Ack!!!  I scream to the Wife that she's got to get up and wash the Boy's hands immediately because he just had a mouse in 'em and now I've got to do something with it!  Bless her, she moved faster than I've ever seen her get out of bed ever before.

I took the little beast outside.  I realized as I was doing so that it was dead as it was a) not moving and b) cold.  I also realized that it was quite soft, poor thing, and no wonder why Mozart was so thrilled.  He probably thought it was a new stuffed toy.  I am just glad that I was paying attention enough to have grabbed the thing from him before he kissed it.  He's also very into kissing things lately...

Fighting Chance

This arsenal is finally kicking Flu in the butt.

Flu - still

Still got it. The Boy is ok. Thank the Goddess.  Mommy is down. I've never missed this much work at one time. We are keeping Healthy Choice in business - on our 2nd case of chicken soup.

Flu - bleh

Mozart got a clean bill of health today.  I was not so lucky. 

Freezing cold, shivering, hot sweats, prickly skin, achey joints, headachey, super thirsty, but don't want to drink anything, slightly queasy, no goodness.

And seriously.  How is it I can be so hot and feel like the marrow in my bones is freezing at the same time?

Snow!

I was going to add this to the Mr. Personality post, but in my hurried delirium, I forgot.  It snowed for the first time this year the other day.  Mozart doesn't remember the snow from last year.  That morning, when I went in to get him he was fussing and generally inconsolable.  I picked him up and went to open the shades.  He stopped his fuss abruptly, pointed out the window, and declared, "Floor!"  Not knowing the name for 'ground' it was still clear that he had to make sure I understood something had changed int he world.  Throughout the morning we talked about snow and how that was the white stuff all over the ground and how it was now officially winter and that it is wonderful and that, even so, Mama doesn't like it very much, but it's still magical - means Santa's coming you know - and kids generally do.

Later in the morning, it started to snow again.  Big, beautiful, fluffy flakes.  I opened the back door to take out some recycling and Mozart trailed me out.  He looked out and, a little bit started, jumped up and down, pointing at the snowflakes, and repeated, "Boom!  Boom!  Boom!"  While the snowflakes weren't exactly crashing down to the ground, they were clearly falling from the sky with great magnificence.  And Mozart pointed out this happening with the import that it holds to him.  My heart just about lept out of my chest with love for this little guy. 

I was trying to get stuff done much of the day and before you know it, night had fallen. Feeling a bit bad about not taking him out on the first snowy day, I thought we could at least sweep of the porch together, so we went out in our slippers and with our brooms, and AHOY!  Neighbor friend of 8 comes over with his sled and asks if Mozart would like a ride.  And that topped of a very fine first day of remembered snow for the little man.

Lazy morning.

Good Heavens, I slept until 10:46!!  I did wake up at 6 to get the Boy, but the Wife took over when he wouldn't be accommodating to continued rest.  And then I dreamed I was in the countryside in France enjoying a lovely meal with some very nice wines.  And then I dreamed I headed off to Paris for the day and learned that the hottest new style is "Homeless Chicque" - derived from having large backpacks full of seemingly everything and a blanket looped the belt - all to facilitate the ability to go all places on foot or by bicycle rather than cars.  Just when I began to dream that I was paralyzed (this happens often for me when I've slept too long), I woke up.   The Boy was watching "Charlie Brown's Christmas" and the Wife had cleared the toy corner out to make way for the tree.  We may just be tree hunting this afternoon.
 
Mozart took his last dose of Prednisone yesterday, and his is nearly himself today - can I have a YIPPEEEE!?!  He did learn some bad habits having been in a 'roid rage the past week, but it is so nice to have him back!

Mr. Personality

I started this post yesterday, but crashed before I could really even get started.  This is how far I got:

Fart. Screech. Fling. Y. dinner. Pizza box, Where'd it go? Fling. 4. Yeah-yeah-yeah! Want one - sink, no. Snake, yes.

Really, as you can see, it's just a list of reminders for me. This is usually how I thing of my blog posts before I write them out, but this time I was afraid if I didn't write it out I'd lose it. I thought it funny when I opened it up again, so thought I'd share.

Thing is, Mozart is still on those crazy meds, and while this kid has personality on any old day, it is a bit amped up when he is so wired.   I had a busy day yesterday and found myself on the daycare side of town with errands still to do on the other side of town, but not enough time before I had to collect him, so I went to get him early and take him along shopping with me.  Perhaps I should have skipped it considering his state of being, but I was determined.  We went to a couple of stored and ended with Wilson's.  They still have the old style strollers you see in department stores, but they really are from the 50's or 60's and the seat belts have long since lost buckles, etc.  After a trip up to the children's section, and Mozart standing in the thing several times, I used what was left of the seat belt to just tie him in.  So, so much safer after that!

The rest of the trip, mostly in the kitchen department, was spent trying to keep my cool and alternately hush him and apologize to other shoppers while he perfected his screech-monkey impression. And then he passed gas.  Rather loudly.  We were the only people in that corner at the moment, so I thought we got a pass.  But, oh, no.  The next several minutes were spent announcing, QUITE loudly, "FART!"  With glee.

On arrival home, he was running around without direction and just kind of bouncing off people and objects.  I decided it would be a good idea to go to the Y and let him run off his energy.  I voiced my idea and it was met with pure joy!  Course, had to have dinner first, which was a feat, but we managed to get about 4-5 bites in him.  I think there is an appetite suppressant in that stuff, and then of course, he flung the dinner to the floor.  Afterwards, while I was cleaning up, he picked a frozen pizza box from the recycling.  Very proud of himself, he announces, "Pizza!"  Then folds the box and says, "Where'd it go?!"  And continued to do this while we laughed at and with him. 

Once at the Y we went to the gym.  They've got it all set up so the Littles can run and tumble and, as long as they don't get trampled by an older kid, they probably won't hurt themselves.  This place is wonderful.  I wish it was an everyday thing, but it's only Fridays and Saturdays.  And only for an hour.  So for the next hour he ran from slide to trampoline to huge foam wedges, blocks and obstacles screaming, "Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah!!!"  And then every once in awhile, whenever counting might be appropriate, "FOUR!"  That's his favorite number, apparently.

On the way home, he was yammering on about who knows what in the back seat and then said, "I want one!"  We asked him what he wanted.  And the response was something to the effect of, "snnk", and I had no idea what that could mean.  Sounded like sink.  He said no.  No luck with asking him to say it again.  I asked him was it a snake.  "Yes!"  Oh, Boy. 

I'd probably go back and push it again...

Because I certainly have gone back to watch this again. And again. And again. 

A new cycle begins.

And so Mercury is finally out of Retrograde.  I'm no astrology buff, but I gotta say, with the last couple months we've had, this is a HUGE relief.  I don't know what this new cycle is, but I'm already looking forward to it.

Mercury came out of Retrograde with a bang, though.  Mozart hadn't been feeling well for about a week and woke up on Sunday not quite himself.  I'm not one to overreact with kid-stuff anymore.  Poor Mozart - they say that after the first kid, parents tend not to freak out about the little stuff anymore.  And by the third kid, a parent may not think to take their kid with a  fractured arm to the hospital (this happened to the Wife - she reports having to "cry in my bed for hours before she eventually took me").  Well, having been foster parents, we don't overreact about kid stuff, and in that department we might have what you call the Duggar Syndrome (just now named after that family with insanely-crazy and ever-growing numbers of children), after having had 17 kids through the house. 

So, yeah, he was sick on Sunday.  I noticed it in the morning when he slept until 8:30am (what!?!, and YAHOO!!, and, um, wow, that NEVER happened before).  Then he was wheezy and raspy and breathing kinda quick.  He was running around like usual most of the time, but then would poop out and get clingy.  After nap, instead of running about and playing he crawled up on the couch and just lay there like a tired old man.  I should have been alarmed.  Instead, I took a picture.  By that night though, I started to get this nagging feeling that it might be more serious, and started to worry about him all on his own in his room by himself while we slept. 

I'd recently heard about RSV and how dangerous it could be (somehow I missed the hype about it when we were foster parents), and thought to look it up.  Well, yeah, the website said this:

Call the doctor immediately if he has one or more of the following symptoms:

• Labored or fast breathing (faster than 40 breaths per minute when not crying), flaring nostrils, the rib cage expanding more than usual with each breath, wheezing, grunting when breathing
• A cough that's getting worse after the first few days
• Difficulty feeding
• Bluish lips or fingernails

He was still eating and his color was good, but that first bullet up there had me alarmed (um, finally!) because I counted his breathing at 59 per minute and I think they had been faster earlier in the day, and he was definitely using a lot of muscles to breathe, and he was wheezing and sometimes grunting.  I called the pediatrician and the on-call didn't even let me get past saying how fast he was breathing, she just said, "Go, now, to the ER." 

So we did.  His respirations were 66 (much to high) and his oxygen levels were 92 (too low).   They gave him Albuterol and a chest x-ray* and five hours later, after some talk of him not being where they'd like to see him yet with his oxygen levels, we were discharged with diagnoses of "acute asthma attack" and "bronchiolitis, possibly caused by RSV", nebulizer for more Albuterol treatments and an antibiotic.  They said to give him the neb treatment when we got home and every four hours if he needed it, but that we shouldn't wake him because he'll wake up if he needs a treatment. 

Well, he woke up two hours later.  Definitely needing another treatment. The Duggar Syndrome was now completely gone and replaced by Frantic First Mommy Syndrome.  Thankfully, I had enough sense to call the ER, rather than just taking him back for another $100, and they said he could really have it every two hours, but if it was any less than that or if the treatment didn't work, then we did need to take him back in. 

Somehow we made it through the night, and I stayed home with him in a sleepless/stupefied state.  Took him into his regular pedi and they did the RSV test there and a script for Prednisone to help the Albuterol work** because it was still not working as well as he'd have liked.  The pedi is not giving him a diagnosis of Asthma - yet - because this is only his 2nd episode of weird respiratory stuff.  The test for RSV came back negative today.  This is a huge relief, in a way, but also begs the question of why he had such a problem.  The pedi says that it could be asthma - I have the exercise induced kind - and also, because I took so much Tylenol during my pregnancy with Mozart (seriously, three times a day, every day for the last two trimesters, didn't touch the pain) and they have recently come out with a study saying there is a link (apparently, there are other studies, but I didn't ever hear about this until after he was born!!), but he's still not ready to give the diagnosis.  

Anyhoo, we all survived, and we're ready for that new cycle now.  But a couple things of note:

* A baby chest x-ray is a horrible thing.  They have this plastic contraption that you have to stick the baby in, with his hands over head, squish him in, strap his head in, while he screams.  The respiratory therapist gave us a head's up, thank goodness, cause I'd have been freaked if I just went in there without warning.

** Albuterol is kiddy speed.  Add Prednisone and you have kiddy crack.  Mozart is generally a typical 20 month old.  Usually very mellow, with little bouts of tantrums.  This kid is currently a maniac.  He is crawling out of his skin.  He tried to flip the coffee table for gits and shiggles.

Leftover reminder

With the leftovers from Thanksgiving dinner this year I made a Savory Thanksgiving Pie.  I had some extra fresh cranberries and so I put those on the bottom of the pie dish, added a fair amount of turkey, layered with stuffing and sweet potatoes, and topped with mashed potatoes and gravy.  Baked for about 45 minutes at - I think that was 375 - and voila!  Delicious.  Next year, or perhaps at Christmas, I will load these things directly into the pie dish rather than packing them up in separate containers only to be taken out at assembled. 

The rise and fall of Turkey Day

As I sit here at home this Black Friday, as I do every Black Friday, I am thinking - once again - about the loss of meaning of Thanksgiving.  And frankly, the complete overtake of commercialism.  I understand that the day after Thanksgiving is a good time to start the Christmas/holiday shopping.  That part, I get.  What I don't get is the want to go out into throngs of crazed people at unmentionable hours to get that start.   That's just not me.   To me, that sounds miserable.  Especially after spending the last week to 24 hours preparing for the festivities and family that accompany Thanksgiving.

I didn't grow up in an overly ceremonial family, but we had respect for the meanings of the holiday.  And even if we didn't celebrate some holidays in the same way as other (I'm thinking Christmas here), we still considered it a sacred time to spend with family and friends.  Thanksgiving used to mean something to the population in general, as well.  From the time we were little we were taught that the holiday's origin was one based in giving thanks.  Growing up and at school, we made Trees of Thanks and enacted the first Thanksgiving meal so that we could appreciate all that we have to be thankful for.  But somewhere along the line much of that got lost.  It's true, I have quite a few friends on Facebook who've set out to post at least one thing they are thankful for every day this month.  But aside from that, what have I heard most about Thanksgiving this year?   
                                                                          
That's right.  Shopping.

Not that we all don't hear a ridiculous amount about it every Thanksgiving - or any day of the year, for that matter.  But this year it seems just completely over the top.  It was bad enough a couple years ago when the stores started opening at midnight after Thanksgiving.  When that happened I just shook my head.  Felt sorry for the workers who would clearly have to cut the festivities short the night before or go unslept.  And sorry for the people who felt so driven by the impulse to buy that they are compelled to line up for hours on end to fight crowds of equally bleary-eyed and crazed people for those three Tickle-Me-Elmo's that were on sale.

But now.  NOW!  The stores have crossed a line in my opinion.  I understand that some people have to work on Thanksgiving.  I have been that person.  People in healthcare, public safety, and transportation have to work.  But can't we just leave one day sacred for being thankful for WHAT WE HAVE instead of being so BLOODY FOCUSED on WHAT WE WANT!!

On that note, I am thankful for my family.   For as much as our relationship isn't perfect, I am truly blessed to have the Wife.  And Mozart.  Ahhh, what can I say, that child is the light of my life.  Every day.  I am thankful for my parents, who live afar, but are still so much a part of our lives.  My sister, Globetrotter, who is back in-country and who I don't see nearly enough of, but who will be coming out for Christmas.  I am thankful that I have in-laws who aren't any more coo-coo than my own family, and who live close enough to share these holidays with.  I am thankful to be employed!  Oh yes!  I don't have the perfect job, and sometimes I really wish I had another what with workplace politics, but I HAVE A JOB!  And I do have a fairly fantastic boss and some really great co-workers.  I am thankful that we live in the area that we live in - this little town has nearly everything I could want.  And what I can't find hear is just a half an hour away in the next little town that I love.  I am thankful that we were finally able to refinance our house and that we were able to get a new car and a new roof! I am thankful that my feet are beginning to feel better and I'll soon be able to be more active.  I am thankful for technology - the internet, cell phones, my Kindle, GPS...

The list could go on forever, but I'll stop there.  Rather than going around the table, my mom-in-law said a prayer of thanks this year, but I still feel it's important to voice some of what I'm thankful for.  We hosted this year.  Mom-in-law brought the pies.  Dad-in-law funded the turkey.  Mme. Child brought individual harvest pot pies.  The Wife cleaned the house top to bottom.  Mozart brought the cuteness.  I did the turkey, stuffing, cranberry relish, sweet potatoes and mashed potatoes.  And it was good.  In Mme. Child's words, "the best turkey I've ever had," which I take as the highest complement.

All in all, I am thankful.

Un-birthday cake, er banana...

Mommy put a birthday hat on Mozart.  Not because it was his birthday, but because it was leftover and hanging around from Prancer's birthday.  He marches into the kitchen and I note, "Hey, you've got a birthday hat on!"  He concurs, "Buh dee hit."  Then he turn and walks into the dining room and ask, "Weh de buh dee kick?"

The wife and I look at each other, shaking our heads, he's just too smart.  Of course, if he's wearing a birthday hat, there should be birthday cake!

Poor kid did not get a birthday cake, but was placated with a banana. 

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And in other news.  Went to pick up Mme. Child's meat CSA and may get some bacon tips for the effort.  The meat lady suggests making an alfredo sauce.  Cook up bacon.  Drain all but three tablespoons grease. Add three tablespoons flour, two cups milk, salt and pepper.  Et voila.  I may need to try that!     

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And still other news.  I think the stars are crossed for getting anything done with speed around here.  For one reason or another I have had a ridiculous amount of plans, repairs, and happenings DELAYED in BIG ways lately.  Nothing too serious, but a lot  of hassle.  Car purchase = delayed by Sandy, then by parts arrival.  Car registration = I was supposed to get it in the mail 3 days after purchase so I could have it inspected (by law) within the week, but car dealer computer problems, and then unexplained delays means I have not yet received it - more than two weeks later - it'll be in the mail tomorrow they say.  Other car repair = take it in to diagnose clutch issue, take it back to do repair, part delivery delayed, in the mechanics words "the parts place is blowing sunshine up my ass!" and so we'll, hopefully, be back to two cars by end of day tomorrow.  Oil bill = they say we owe them money, but we paid early (as evidenced by charge posted to account) and so got the discount meaning that we owe them nothing, now settled.  Doctor bill = should not have even received this bill as I already paid it (and kept receipts) so after calling and calling back thrice, it is finally settled. Chimney = after two days of the masons no-showing, and then disappearing (leaving no chimney at all on our house) mid-job, finally done!   Roof = still not done, will save that story, should I decide to tell it for later. Oie! I will now begin to plan for things to take at least three times as long as they should until the stars realign...

Cheese bribery.

While I still foresee the coconut curries being the next trend, tonight I made Turkey Tamale Pie.  I thought it was good.  The Wife thought it was good.  The Boy went into full Boy-cott mode.

Several weeks ago we decided the incessant whining for, "SNAAAAAAACKSSSSSS!!!" on arrival home each and every night had to stop.  We talked with the daycare provider and learned that he did have a snack in the afternoon, but it was usually about 2pm.  Now he gets a second snack at about 4pm to tide him over until dinner.  This, overall, has been much better in the way of whining, but it has increase his obsession for snacks.

He has still been eating dinner fairly well, but last night - and now tonight, he flat out refused to eat anything substantial.  Last night he had his portion of naan and decided that he'd rather not try my coconut curry, but wanted more snacks.  We attempted to tell him all about the lovely things he likes in the curry, and how he's tried it before and loved it, but to no avail.  All he wanted was snacks. He went to bed, I'm sure, hungry.  And woke up quite early and quite hungry.

So with tonight's stated boycott, I thought about my own need for sleep, and decided I'd resort to cheese bribery.  This was after about half an hour of convincing the child to come to the table at all for his dinner at all (he was in his high chair, but we do not pull it up to the table until the bib is on, and prior to dinner boycott, it was bib boycott - *sigh*).  I pulled out some cheese.  Made ooohs and aaaaahs over it as I cut it up into small squares.  It used to be that I could convince him to eat about anything with the prospect of a bit of cheese, a blueberry, or bite of yogurt, it was a simple, "you want this, ok, then eat this," and before you know it, he'd finished the entire plate...  No more.  I told him he could have a square of cheese if he ate a bean.  This took much convincing.  I even tried putting the bean on top of the cheese.  He looked at me as if I'd defiled the cheese.  Actually cried.  But finally, he picks up the bean.  And eats half of it.  And so I give him just a crumble of cheese.  Then he eats the rest and I give him the rest of the square of cheese.  We did this - both the Wife and I - for nearly an hour, bean by bean and crumb by crumb.  I think he may have ingested a grand total of maybe a quarter cup of tamale pie and half of one baby carrot (and a slice and a half of cheese).

My mother tells tales of how stubborn I was.  I think Mozart may be following in by footsteps.
We may be in for it.

Coconut Curries...

I tend to go in phases with cooking.  Phases of enjoying it, boycotting it, and of course, phases of cooking particular kinds of food.  Over the past weeks, I cannot count how many roasted chickens we've had.

Let me note here that the Wife does not eat beef, pork (errr, except bacon, occasionally), or lamb.  She is picky about fish.  And she does not like new foods.  This leaves us eating a lot of chicken.  A fair amount of turkey.  Plenty of egg dishes.  And more pasta than I'd like to admit.

The phase of roasted chicken began with a sale at Whole Foods - .99/lb for whole birds = awesome.  And I bought many.  We also had our farm share.  Or should I say chicken share.  One or two chickens per month - all natural, pasture raised, heritage birds.  Mmmm, wiry little buggers. Very flavorful, but not much to them.

And now I am about done with that.  I'd rather not roast a chicken for while.  In fact, if Thanksgiving weren't coming up, I'd say I'd rather not roast any bird for awhile.

Tonight made a delicious coconut curry.  Carrots, sweet potato, regular potato, turnips (could've done without), peas, and chicken.  Would have been good with onions, but we're fresh out.  And so, so easy when you have a good curry paste = fry up the chicken (I'm partial to the skinless thighs myself), add variety of chopped veggies, can of coconut milk (unsweetened of course), a great dollop of curry paste, simmer until veggies are soft, and serve with yogurt, and/or rice, and/or na'an.

Just yum.

I may be onto another phase.

I can breathe!

Both figuratively and literally  :)

I generally tend to get sick under three scenarios.  1) I am simply overtired and haven't been taking care of myself, 2) I have been dealt an emotional blow, or 3) when something stressful, even happy-stressful, is taking a lot of energy over a long period of time and suddenly it is over.

The first only makes sense.  If I don't get enough sleep, don't eat well, and generally don't take care of myself, what do I really expect...  The second, well, all I can say is that with every break-up that I've had and every child that left to an not-so-great situation, I got sick.  When things are out of control and it's breaking my heart, my immune system takes a blow.  It's true, often, I am up worrying or the like, and not sleeping as I should in these situations, sometimes not eating as I should, so I suppose that makes sense too - though it has happened even when I've kept my routine.  And the third, well, that's less explainable.  I feel like there is so much tension being build up and I am running on adrenaline until the big event happens - that when the even finally happens, my body lets down its defenses and lets in the germies.

And that is what happened on Wednesday.  I am elated by the election results.  I mean, I really did feel like I'd been holding my breath for the last several months, and finally, some time after the networks called it, I finally felt like I could breathe again.  When they first called it, I was unconvinced - in fact, I wished I'd been able to just go to sleep without watching any of the results come it - flashbacks to 2000 anyone...  but by 12:30 in the morning, I began to believe.  Began to relax.  And began to rejoice.  In my dreams, for I really was utterly exhausted.

While I was sleeping, the Wife remained awake and monitoring the remaining results roll in, and as she posted in the wee hours of Wednesday:

Reelected the 1st President ever who publicly supports marriage equality.
Passed marriage equality in ME in the first time by ballot initiative.
Approved marriage equality law in MD.
Approved marriage equality law in WA.
Defeated an anti-gay constitutional amendment for the 1st time in MN.
Elected the 1st openly LGBT US Senator.
Now, that's how to do an election! :D

And while I was overjoyed on waking, I couldn't really express it as I felt rather like I'd been hit by a semi. I dragged myself up and went to work nonetheless, though I admit I got little accomplished.  By the afternoon the mild headache had worsened, the stuffiness had turned into a full clogging, and I was regularly sneezing.  By evening I was a full-on faucet-face. This is not a pretty thing, people, I'll spare the details, but let's just say that nothing within my vicinity was free of germs.  I was in bed by 8:30, dosed up with Sudafed and a myriad of various herbs, tinctures and teas.  I woke feeling somewhat better, but by the time I got Mozart down to breakfast I was fairly miserable again.  I realized this when I looked up from my coffee and saw him mimicking me, head resting on hand, and groaning.  While that was way too cute, it made me understand just how bad it was.  And really, it would have been completely irresponsible to go to work and expose coworkers and clients alike to all of the germs going on.

So now here I am, wrapped up in a blanket, feeling much better than yesterday, but still trying to take it easy.  I'm looking around at the various messes that never seem to stop piling up and thinking I should do the dishes, sort through this pile or that, or clean out the fridge, and maybe I will, but for now I will finish this off and drink my tea with the knowledge that the tides are finally turning and there is hope that in the future we will be considered a bona fide family with the same rights and benefits that other families already have.

GO VOTE ~ Couple hours left people!

By the time I got to the computer last night, my thoughts were jumbled, my eyes were bleary, and my body was sending out signals of fatigue and alarm.  <-- not very conducive for getting my thoughts out. 

I hope I can put things together more coherently now.


I was up at 5am.  Before Mozart.  Maybe because of the time change, but more likely because of the importance this day holds.  I tried, unsuccessfully to get another hour of shut-eye, and finally got up and prepared for my day.  As I left, the Wife asks, "Why do you look so snazzy?"  I responded that, because today is such an important day I wanted to dress for the occasion.  That I'm feeling fragile today, like my world could fall apart if the outcome is not the one I would choose.  And on days like these, I need to give myself a little boost.

I got out of the house early.  Just after the polls opened.  As I arrived, the lot was full.  This always fills me with a touch of pride.  I notice several children walking in with their parents.  This also makes me appreciate our right to vote.  I have taken Mozart to the polls several times, though I didn't do so this morning.  He's at the age when he could be very distracting.  If the Wife votes after work, though, I will volunteer to go to the polls with her so Mozart can go and watch - and she can concentrate on the task at hand. Walking into the polls, there was a mom and her young son who were just behind me.  He was about four.  And he was having an absolute fit about having to go with her to vote.  Thinking I might help, I piped up and said, "Hey, this is important!  You are really lucky to be able to come watch your mom vote today."  She thanked me, but he was unimpressed and continued his whining, "I don't want to vote.  You always get your way.  It's not fair."  His mom did her best to, at first explain how important it was, and then finally just tell him that he needed to be quiet and chill out.

And as I think about that child's cry, I think that unfortunately, there are grown and capable citizens that are making the same argument, "I don't want to vote.  You always get your way.  It's not fair."

Well, guess what.  Voting is a right.  Just because you don't want to take the time to vote, or you don't think your vote counts, or you don't like your options, doesn't mean you get a free pass.  It's a right to vote and it's right to vote.  No, you don't always get your way, but if you don't vote, you can't say, "you always get your way," and have that truly mean anything.  If you haven't used the power behind your vote, then you can't really complain when you don't get your way.  And no, it's not always fair.  Citizens United and all the money that has been pumped into this election by corporations - it isn't fair.  Some say the Electoral College isn't fair, but it is the system we have.  And if you are a citizen of the United States, but have been convicted of a felony, in most states, you are not allowed to vote.  Same goes for those who received a Dishonorable Discharge from the military. It might not be fair. But that's the law and laws are made by the people who we, the citizens, vote into office.  Every single one of us given this right, should be invested in it.  From the beginning <-- and that means looking into who is running for public office on the town and county level, participating in primaries, AND voting in major elections. Know what the issues are, know where you stand on them, and where the candidates stand on them.  Vote for what you believe is right.  If your candidate didn't make it on the ballot, you have a choice.  You can write in your candidate's name, you can vote for the candidate that is listed that most closely resembles your beliefs, you can vote for what you feel is the lesser of two evils, or you can even leave it blank indicating no confidence.  But just vote.  I believe, that like some countries, there should be compulsory voting, but it's not mandatory here.  It's a right and it's our civic responsibility.

So I've said my piece. And I voted.  I voted with my heart and with my conscience.  I voted for Barack Obama because on nearly every issue that I can think of, he more closely holds, and often has acted on, my beliefs than the other viable candidate for this election.  Yes, he is still a politician.  He wouldn't be on the ballot if he wasn't.  And it's true that I don't agree with him on every issue (he will hear from me on these).  It's also true that I *may* agree more fully with Jill Stein of the Green Party, but when she (or any candidate) wasn't included in the debates and I've not seen or heard *any* airtime about her, when relatively few people know who she is or what she stands for, and when she is not even on the ballot in 14 states, I don't feel that she is a viable option.  So not only do I believe that Obama is the better candidate for our economy (yes, I do believe that - he did not put us in this situation, the previous administration with similar policies that the opposition has did), that he is the better candidate for equal rights (for women, people of color and LGBT individuals and families), that he is the better candidate when it comes to considering our health care, social security, and the welfare of all people, and that he can better represent the United States in the foreign arena without alienating other countries or instigating unnecessary war, but I also believe that he has a good shot at winning this thing.

Not to mention, I'm just a wee bit terrified about the prospect of the other guy - one who discounts 47% of the population, thinks of women and minorities as less than, and believes that my family is not real and that my marriage should be nullified - getting elected...

So now I wait, along with the rest of the nation, to find out how hard we are going to have to fight.  The fight, you see, will not stop. We've been fighting to regain the ground we lost in the Bush era, we've been fighting for equal rights, and we've been fighting for our politicians to work together - and our President has been fighting with us.  I hope we can keep that fight going, and not have to fight off a president that would take it all away.

Pre-Election Disjointed Jitters

When I picked up Mozart today, the daycare provider asked me if I was ok. Said I looked stressed.  Said I've looked stressed for awhile now.  And yes, between the roof (still pending), the care (yipee - all set), the water heater (ugh) and Sandy impending arrival and now continuing to hear about the aftermath, yeah I'm stressed.  But really, what has me most stressed is these elections.  And I don't even watch t.v., so I don't hear but a fraction of the BS that flying around out there on the airwaves.

I'd like to be eloquent about how I feel right now, but I'm afraid that likely won't be possible.  I am baffled that people are seeming to fall for what the Romney campaign is putting out there as a solution.  While he seems to talk out both sides of his mouth, makes stuff up, and dismiss nearly half of our population, people are still considering him a viable option.  And the people here in Massachusetts - shouldn't we all remember what it was like under him.  How he was anything but a bridge-builder.

And frankly,  I'm scared.  Scared that just when I thought that maybe, just maybe sometime in the near future our family will be considered a real and legitimate family, that it could all be taken away from us.   So yeah, I'm stressed.

And also, I have to say, that I'm feeling a bit betrayed by some people that I thought had our back.  You know, when a person professes to be a friend, but then wants to vote for someone who would take your rights away - and their rights away, too!  I'm not just talking about rich, white guys wanting to vote for Romney - shoot, I don't even know many of those - I'm talking about women.  Several of them.  And yes, even some LGBT folks.  It leaves me numb and speechless.

So if your reading this, tomorrow is election day. Please go to the polls and vote for a better future. For all of us, including women and the LGBT community. For we deserve to be equal citizens. And please know that your vote does count. It is worth the time and energy. For most of us it will be a matter of minutes, but it is also worth the hours some are waiting. If you don't have a ride, ask for one.

You are an American.  Act like it.

Unscathed.

We are very fortunate. Very fortunate indeed.  We were stocked for a couple days sans electricity, and had enough food, water and batteries to get us through. The lights, however didn't even flicker.  When I prepare so well and nothing happens I always feel slightly let down. Not incredulous, as I've seen some on my Facebook feed, but it's just that I gotten that adrenaline rush and then there was nothing but waiting after.  This letdown only lasts until I run across any media, though, because then I am faced with just how bad it could have been - and no amount of my measly power-outage-prep could have helped if we'd been faced with the flooding and damage that other places endured.

So, with that, I am grateful. Very grateful that my family is safe. And also thinking of all of those who fared so much worse.

Off to work...

Hurricane Sandy a.k.a. Frankenstorm.  Biggest in 500 yrs, some say ?!  Headed towards
NYC/NJ - all of Massachusetts is in the "red zone". State of Emergency
called for all of MA.  Daycare cancelled.  Work doesn't seem to be
worried - have to go in.  Wish us luck!!

Quick summary.

Car loan approved. Car found - now to test drive and, hopefully buy - by the end of the month!

Lobster BLT = delicious.

I've now been to the gym twice in two weeks *yippee*

My stamina and ability to actually work out are drastically reduced *boooo*

I am tired.

Good night.

Comcast, Verizon and other Evil Empires

I don't talk about work here, and I'm not going to start now except to say that I had to interact with these no good, very bad, evil, awful entities today.  Why is it so hard for Comcast to give a simple list of various cable packages with corresponding prices?  I work with people who are on a *very* limited budget.  And when someone has less than $60/month flex money they cannot afford a cable plan that is $79.99/month that raises to $99.99 after six months and $107 after a year.  They tell me that is the absolute smallest package they have that consists of anything over the very basic local channels.  Now, I *know* that there are numerous other, much smaller, packages because I have other clients who have them.  I just don't know which ones have what channels.  That was the first conversation.  And the second.  In the third conversation the guy says that he's got a package, that yes, has the channel my client wants, plus a whole gamut of other channels, and it will be $39.99/month.  Sounds good, right?  Yeah, well, I'm smarter than that, so I ask, is this a standing price, or a promotion?  Just as I thought.  A promotional "deal" that expires in six months and then the price goes up to $65.99.    And when I say that, if he remembers, the budget is limited and, no we can't be keeping track of when the prices will go through the roof, he says that is all there is to offer and because they are the only cable provider for the area, we'll just have to figure out a way to take their offer.  Thanks.  I'll take that into consideration. Click.

I was able to get a list, finally, from a coworker who has an in with Comcast.  There is, in fact, the basic package - just the local channels - for $8.56.  The next level up is expanded with about 15 more channels for $22.19.  And then, yes, there is a package, with the requested channel, and a fair amount of other channels, for $39.99. Flat out.  No tricks.

And then I had to call Verizon.  And again.  The empire rules all.  Prices rise for this package or that package.  Extra charges.  The less expensive plan is no longer available.  Only two available phones that do not require ultra-expensive plan.  I will give it to them that, as far as I can tell, they are not trying to bamboozle me into something without the necessary information that's needed to make a decision.

By the end of the day I had a wicked headache.  I went to buy a lottery ticket.  It's 90 million tonight.  If I win I will make my own cable and wireless companies.  Both will have affordable plans that are clear cut and have options for everyone without having to sign away their firstborn child's soul to the devil.  So wish me luck on that.  We'll all be better off.

More butterfly heaven.

After a long morning running errands - curses to the hour and a half wait at the RMV, catching up with an old friend, and lunch with the Wife, I picked up Mozart and we headed off to Magic Wings again.  I figured it would be either hopping or dead with all the rain we got today and it was the latter.  For a little while there was an art class from one of the colleges there, but otherwise just the random pair of people here and there.  We had the run of the place.  And, oh, how he loved it!  I wish I could understand more of what he says 'cuz he was talking up a storm!  I know that he can say butterfly - he said it leading up to the second time we went. But ever since then butterflies are "flowers".  So again, he ran from place to place, yammering on, telling me all sorts of stories, I'm sure, and exclaiming, "Flower!"  Every time a butterfly came close or crossed is gaze.  And then, he would point to the butterfly stamp on his hand and exclaim again and again, ever so proudly, that he has one too!

I have been trying to get the photos from my phone for more displays of cuteness - really I should have done a voice recording, but didn't manage that one - but no luck so far.  I may come back and edit some photos in...

What's for dinner?

No, really.  What's for dinner?  Cuz I haven't the foggiest.  We are in the midst of a dishes stand-off, which makes the cooking aspect of the "I cook/you clean" deal rather difficult.  And makes me less than inspired to even go in the kitchen and investigate what one could make.  In another land this would be a take-out night.  In our land it will likely be PB&J.  Maybe carrot sticks on the side.

And I did so good yesterday!  I had a plan of course.  Had been thinking about it for a couple hours.  Got home at 5:05 with the Boy.  Turned on the oven to preheat. Went upstairs and I got my gym clothes on. Back downstairs and I put a chicken and potatoes in the oven to bake.  Out the door by 5:30.  Went to the gym and worked out for probably the 3rd time since Mozart was born.  Work-out got cut short just a bit as he started crying and the teen in charge of babysitting panicked.  Home by 6:30.  Veggies on.  Straightened up living room and dinner served by 7.

I felt accomplished.  It was good.

Maybe I'll motivate, do a couple dishes, and make tuna melts.  That's a step above PB&J, right?

What a catch!!

I had great hopes for this big, huge tag sale that happened this weekend.  We've got some things that we'd like, but are stalling on getting as we don't really need them yet.  The following made the list:

• Baby bathrobe.  We have one, about a size 4, that Mozart is currently wearing.  It is pink with multicolored polka dots.  We role up the sleeves and as it is likely supposed to be a shorter robe, it is floor length on him.  
• Shoes - brown and black.  We have the cutest pair of blue shoes, that he wears with nearly everything, and seem to camouflage into matching nearly everything, but he's close to outgrowing them.  Same for his sandals, which are scanty to wear anyway now.  We do have a pair of sneakers for him, but it seems like they match about nothing he owns.
• Hat/mitten set. We've got several hats, all very cute, and one set, but I'd like to have an extra set around - or at least extra mittens as they tend to get wet/dirty.
• One (or two) more baby gate(s).  He has not gotten curious about the 3rd Floor yet, and we are lucky.  We've essentially stopped using it as there is no gate at the top of those stairs.  I'd like to go up there again some day...
• A potty seat.  I know this particular item would be better to buy new, but don't judge.  Sometimes they come out at the end of potty training no worse for the wear.  We actually gave away two (and threw away one that was worse for the wear) when we were clearing stuff out before Mozart was born.  Kicking myself just a little now.  We do have a potty for him, but as it's not the typical style, and he's new at this whole thing, he keeps on sitting on it crooked and then tipping the whole thing over, himself included.

I did not come away from said sale with any of the above.  Instead I got:

• A toy phone.  It kept Mozart busy throughout the search for other items and now resides in the car.  On the way home today he was yammering up a storm with it.
• A nursing stool. I've wanted one of these since I discovered their existence.  We are hardly nursing anymore, but I have to say.  I've used it quite a lot while just sitting here - in fact, my feet rest upon it now.
• Another hat. Not that we needed another hat.  But it was cute.  Norwegian style.  And wool. So it's warm.  
• Cute outfit. It was only $3.  I'm not positive it will fit, but it is super, super cute with it's French little bunnies, and if not for him for the next one :D
• 4 cars for $2.  What can I say.  I'm a sucker.  He loves cars and I love him.

Feeling a bit disappointed that I did not get one thing I set out to get, I decided I'd hit up another tag sale I saw earlier.  I hadn't had time to stop, but saw kid stuff galore!  Alas, it was too late.  But I hit the jackpot after all ~ where the sale was sat box FULL of action figures, random small toys, and CARS!  I scooped them up and headed home to give Mozart a proper showing of them.

As I was taking them out he exclaimed, "Oooh!" and "Truck!" and "Vrooom!" and "Train!" and "Bus!"  And best of all he did this little happy dance, giggling, through a sea of cars while cradling them in his arms.  So, so, adorable!

Shat upon.

Yep.  That's me.  Shat upon.  Twice now.  From the sky.  At least this time it was, by stroke of luck, my hand and not my head.  Or the groceries, which my hand hovered over as it happened.  It appears the winged ones are eating their share of pumpkins and squash these days. 


And that is unfortunate because it just so happens to look nearly exactly like the soup that I made for dinner.  A delicious soup, mind you, but considering the earlier events, you can see why the thought is less than appetizing right at the moment...

The soup calls for hubbard squash, which I just so happen to have from our CSA.  It was a large squash and my butcher knife was no match for it.  I felt like I needed an ax to properly get into it.  After a fair amount of unfortunate language, I somehow managed to cut enough of one end off that I was able to pry it off to hollow out the seeds.  I went back at it with the knife, but after half an hour I really hadn't gotten anywhere.

The solution, my friends, to getting your large hubbard squash into chunks small enough to lay out on a pan for roasting?  Gravity.  Perhaps with a little force.  I put Mozart in the Pack'n'Play for protection, raised the vegetable high above my head and smashed it to the ground.  It broke into three pieces.  Mozart hooted, "Again!"  And so we did. Until we had the entire thing in pieces that could be laid out on the cookie sheets.